you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize