Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
