Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
Randomize
