So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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