yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
