They should really pass out barf bags in church
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
