so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
