He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
