That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
