3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
