i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
false alarm, still single
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