Soap is not a condiment
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
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