haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Randomize
