Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
