Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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