so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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