Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
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