big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
