so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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