Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
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