My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
