No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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