I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Randomize
