PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I can't turn off my feet"
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
