Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
My dick has a subreddit
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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