I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
