I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
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