I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
i've created a new STD.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
