I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
