Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
Randomize
