i would punch a child for taco bell
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
