so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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