What a fucking waste of an outfit
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
