my vag is so smooth its legendary
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
