Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
