We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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