We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
