omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize