their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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