You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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