I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
