No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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