It was confusing and full of hummus
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
