3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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