I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
Randomize
