I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
