i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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