i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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