If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
