maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
