I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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