I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Randomize
