i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
