Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
