when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
