She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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