It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
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