matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Is it penis luge time yet?
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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