He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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