Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
