I met the friendliest cop last night
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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