yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
