OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
