That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
