there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
