There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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