I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
