Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
