when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
