I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
